1. Make writing more of a priority: Writing's been put on the back-burner for web design for the last 2 years and I'd like to spend some more time working on it. Of course, it was put the back-burner because it's not profitable, but I really want to make some serious progress on my fantasy/sci-fi story "Unnatural Wizardry" this year and spend more time writing posts for my spiritual blog.


2. Exercise as frequently as my body can tolerate.


3. Stop picking my skin/deal with my underlying anxiety issues.


4. Meditate more regularly.


5. Visit oneonthefence.

A friend of a friend sent me an email with questions about how I relate to being disabled. I thought they were great questions, so I'm sharing my email to her here.

Do you identify as disabled? If so, was there a particular moment when you started to do so, and why?

Yes, I do. I've always been open about my JRA: when I was a kid/teen, I figured telling someone about my JRA was a good litmus test to see if they were worth my time. It worked, too: the friends I had weren't judgmental, were open and honest, and accepted me for who I was. I did have to deal with some of the normal cattiness of pre-teen and teen girl cliques: in both middle school and high school, I went through periods where I was excluded from my normal group of friends because I had a falling out with one of my friends; but overall, my friends were awesome. And still are.

But I didn't really start identifying as "disabled" until I was approved for SSDI in 2006. Before then, I didn't really call myself any term. I just told people about my JRA without attaching a label to myself. I started identifying with the term "disabled" as a quick way of answering the question people my age get asked all the time: "So, what do you do for work?" "Well, I'm disabled, but I do some freelance web design," is a much more concise answer than having to go into details about my physical issues. If someone asks for more information, though, I don't hesitate to answer them.

I don't know if there are outward signs of your JRA or dysplasia, but if so, how do you respond when strangers (or people you don't know well) ask you about it? (I have a visible limp, and sometimes complete strangers -- I mean, people I literally pass on the street -- will ask me about it. Even after years, I am never quite sure how to respond.)

Well, I've been both lucky and unlucky in that for most of my life, my JRA was only obvious to people who knew what to look for: rheumatologists and people who knew others with JRA could tell at a glance that I had the disease (just as I can usually tell if someone has it, too: we tend to have a distinctive facial structure and gait). This did mean, though, that I got tons of glares when I used my handicapped tag, though, and I still get them occasionally. Nowadays, I think it's more obvious that I'm disabled: my hands in particular don't move normally. I don't think someone who saw me sitting at a movie theater or something could tell, but if someone sees me try to write or turn my head (my neck mobility is limited), it's pretty apparent something is going on with me.

Having said all that, I don't recall being asked by a stranger about my physical issues. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about them, though, so I think I'd just answer them openly and honestly... I appreciate the opportunity to educate able-bodied people about JRA. A lot of people have the preconception that arthritis is "just for old people"; I like being able to challenge that perception.

I'm curious about the relationship between gender expectations and disability. Do you ever feel like JRA makes it especially hard to meet the expectations society places on you as a woman (in terms of beauty, the effortlessness of looking a certain way, cultural expectations about things like femininity and even motherhood, etc.)? If you do experience a tension there, how have you balanced or come to terms with that?

I did struggle with this in middle school and high school for a while. In addition to my hand issues making shaving a challenge, I'm also half-Armenian and super, super hairy. I finally stopped shaving on a regular basis in college, after I shaved my legs as a surprise for my boyfriend who was visiting... but by the time he arrived 2 hours later, I already had stubble! (I wrote a livejournal entry about shaving here.)

Another example is high heels: I can't wear them. Not that I can't wear them for hours, but I can't wear them *at all*. In fact, for the last 3 years, the only shoes I can wear are SAS walking shoes, which—while comfortable—aren't at all fashionable. But without them, I wouldn't be able to walk. (See here.)

When I was first married, my mother-in-law had difficulty accepting that I couldn't fulfill the role of a traditional wife: I can't cook (well, I know how, but I'm not physically able to do it regularly), clean, garden... and it didn't take my husband and I long to decide that having children was just not much of an option for us. (We have 5 cats now, which makes me happy!) It took time for my in-laws—all conservative "Bible-believing" Christians—to accept that our marriage isn't a "traditional" one: my husband does 99% of the cooking and cleaning. But I feel like our marriage is accepted within his family now and respected for what it is.

I honestly don't care much about what society thinks I should look like or how I should behave. My body is what it is and no amount of effort could transform it into society's ideal. I think this really became clear to me after my first hand surgery (wrist fusion) when I was 18. I have a massive scar on my right hand, and my sister, well-meaning but clueless, suggested I should put cocoa butter on the scar to make it less apparent. I was like, "Uh huh... so my scar might disappear, but won't someone notice that my wrist doesn't bend?" Why hide it? I have two matching scars now on each of my hands (left wrist was replaced in 2008), and to me, they're just part of my body.

Is there anything you wish totally able-bodied friends and acquaintances could better understand or know about your life? (I know I find it hard to explain the experience of chronic pain, and how it affects my mood and body, to most able-bodied people.)

I wish able-bodied friends, family, and acquaintances would understand that what's happening to me will likely happen to them: everyone—if they're lucky enough to live a long life—will see their body fail them in one way or another. Buddhism really pounds this point, and I find that refreshing! (I identify also as a Buddhist and a Quaker.) The health they have now—and the health that I have!—shouldn't be taken for granted or squandered. The body they have now should be appreciated for what it is, in whatever state or shape it happens to be in at the moment.

Ultimately, I'm really grateful for my physical issues. The fact that I have a noticeable limit to my energy and to my abilities clarifies what's important to me and forces me to let go of what isn't.

Nurit Peled-Elhanan, an Israeli academic, mother and political radical, summons up an image of rows of Jewish schoolchildren, bent over their books, learning about their neighbours, the Palestinians. But, she says, they are never referred to as Palestinians unless the context is terrorism.

They are called Arabs. "The Arab with a camel, in an Ali Baba dress. They describe them as vile and deviant and criminal, people who don't pay taxes, people who live off the state, people who don't want to develop," she says. "The only representation is as refugees, primitive farmers and terrorists. You never see a Palestinian child or doctor or teacher or engineer or modern farmer.

Conservative lawmaker Danny Danon boasted that he had helped close the “All for Peace” radio station. Danon, a member of Netanyahu’s Likud Party, claimed the Communications Ministry shuttered the station at his request, after he claimed it “incited” against Israel.

“A radical leftist station that becomes an instrument of incitement must not be allowed to broadcast to the broader public,” Danon said.

Operators of “All For Peace” radio said they complied with a shut-down order issued last week. Israel’s communications ministry confirmed it issued the order, and said the station was broadcasting into Israel illegally.

Who will win? Will it be Cinnamon:

or Zathras:
?

Let the fight... begin!

Good luck to everyone weathering Hurricane Irene!

Rob and I are in Queen Anne's County within the mandatory evacuation zone, but we're planning on staying home. I'm not in great shape to travel so soon after getting my new right hip and we've never had serious flooding on our street, are out of the flood plain, and weather forecasts are currently calling for tropical storm--not hurricane--conditions where we are.

Still I'm anxious: I'm scared of storms in general. We do have a Plan B and Plan C, though, and the 4 cat carriers are inside (we're hoping Cinnamon and Zathras can share the largest carrier). I've put necessary medications and supplies to take care of my surgery incision in my purse, as well as rabies certificates for all the cats. We have extra water in the fridge, as well as enough non-perishable food for a day or two.

Hope to post tomorrow or Monday saying all is well.

Be safe, all.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Because my femurs are so thin, the surgeon was only able to replace my right hip on Monday. The left hip will have to be done with a lateral approach instead of the anterior/minimally-invasive approach used on my right hip. That first night after surgery was hell. Since I'm allergic to morphine and thought I was allergic to dilaudid, they had me on percocets, which were just not cutting it. I ended up trying a half-dose of dilaudid at 3:30am, which worked incredibly well. I am apparently sensitive to dilaudid, but not allergic to it. The next night was better, and I was released on Wednesday. I'm walking with a platform walker and can sit down and get up mostly on my own. Getting into and out of bed is incredibly hard and I require a lot of help with that. Also I have to wear compression thigh-high stockings for the next few weeks to prevent blood clots and these are becoming a serious pain because of my fibromyalgia.

Overall, though, I'm doing okay. I think only getting one hip done on Monday was a blessing in disguise; this recovery period is hard enough as it is. Also, my left hip seems to be doing much better now that my right hip can actually bear weight, so there's a chance I may be able to postpone getting that hip done for a while (which is good, because the recovery from a lateral hip replacement takes longer and is a lot harder and I don't know how my arms would manage).

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Scores of Bahraini doctors and nurses who treated injured anti-government protesters have been charged with attempting to topple the kingdom's monarchy.

The 23 doctors and 24 nurses were formally charged on Monday during a closed door hearing in a special security court.

The 47 accused have been in detention since March, when the country declared martial law in order to clamp down on a wave of demonstrations that swept the tiny kingdom earlier this year.

Though the emergency law was lifted last week, Bahraini authorities have warned opposition activists of "consequences" in case of any further challenges to the government.

"I feel that taxpayers who believe abortion is wrong should not have their federal tax dollars used to pay for abortions."

Two diplomatic sources at the United Nations independently confirmed that Washington, via Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, gave the go-ahead for Saudi Arabia to invade Bahrain and crush the pro-democracy movement in their neighbor in exchange for a "yes" vote by the Arab League for a no-fly zone over Libya - the main rationale that led to United Nations Security Council resolution 1973.